I am happy for others...but I find it so hard to not be sad at the same time. It is such a double edged sword. It is just such a huge reminder of what i don't have and that it seems everyone else finds it so easy. I mean, people are getting preg with the next one...and i have been trying since before they got pregnant with the last one.
I so want to believe in what we are doing, i want to believe that this will give me what i want. But right now, on AF eve...i am all full of doubt and vulnerability. I want to be told it will all be OK, but i know that there is no guarantee and i am the one who needs to believe.
Give me strength to get through this, give me the endurance to get through the next 8 weeks...please...please give me my baby.
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