ok...it finally got to me!
Michael saying it was not working well enough got me rattled....and then the sickness...and the ridiculous catch 22 of not being happy enough to be pregnant....
I called to speak to Jaclyn (hypnotherapist) and make a new appointment. We got chatting about how i was feeling and then the tears came.
I felt happy and positive and over the moon with myself for doing all the right things, I was proud and excited. Even if this slows us down i am OK...but feeling sick all day every day is not on. I feel blamed for it not working...i know that is not the case.
I have to ask though....if i was happy and ok with not being pregnant...i would not be dedicating the time/money/energy into this diet/program. I am doing this because i am not satisfied with what is happening. So how do i win. If i just accept my present lack of fertility, then i won't have the motivation to do this....
so riddle me this...how the hell do i win?
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