What a huge weekend!

But what a great one!!!

I am normally not a fan of everything happening at once...it stresses me out! But this weekend has been so fantastic and busy all at once...

Catching up with old friends, birthday parties, looking at booking tickets to the UK, having family stay for a few days...and both my precious men having birthdays!

Through all that busyness I also managed to speak up about a few things that are bothering me! And i did it calmly and hopefully productively. The thing is, my sister, whom I adore, is one of those people who are not good at listening or showing compassion. She views my infertility with a bit of distain. She knows how long we've been trying but still...she's always there to try and minimise it. Before my miscarriage her response was always "well, at least you have not had a miscarriage"...even when I tried to explain that made me feel like she was dismissing my pain and not taking me seriously...she still defended herself and anyone else that said that because "well, a miscarriage is really bad"...hmmm. So anyway, after I had a miscarriage...she comes back with "well, at least t was early enough that you don't seem to care"...I mean seriously wtf! So, when she tried to say it again....I stopped her. And I told her how it made me feel and I told her that I have stopped telling her how i feel because I am sick of hearing her justify everyone else and dismissing my feelings as inconsequential. She did not like it, but I was firm. She tried to say that I was strange as my miscarriage didn't hurt me badly enough...so i corrected her and said that was because I was already in so much pain from everything else that had happened I did not have as far to fall...I mean when you have been battling something this long...one more battle scar is not the end of the world..but still..I just don't think she gets it. But that is OK, because I have spoken my truth now and I feel better inside!!!

My sister does mean well, she is not vindictive or cruel...she, like many others just do not get it. And I guess they are the lucky ones...but ge I wisha bit of care could at least be faked sometimes.

And that UK trip I mentioned....I might be heading over that way in September...partly helped by my ex inlaws who really want Elliott to come over! And the most exciting part...Mark wants to come!!! I so expected him to encourage me to go alone...but now...he has said he is keen (which is amazing as prior he has always resisted any kind of long haul travel). I am over the moon. I have a friend who is a travel agent who I saw on Saturday...she is going to try and hook me up with a great deal...I am so excited...its been ...ummm, more then 5 years since i did any travel and my poor old feet are itching up a storm!!!

Moving on to where I am this cycle...and I am so full of hope that things are going well...and warning...there may be way TMI in this next bit for the faint hearted!

I am currently on CD 18 and am having what I highly suspect my be light implantation bleeding! Its too early for pre cycle spotting and well..I am hoping hoping hoping...that I am right! If all the signs remain the same then I will do a test in about 10 days....which will be just after our wedding anniversary!! Oh I hope i'm right....pregnancy here we come!